Last night, I was at the grocery store taking advantage of ten unscheduled minutes. Three or four people in front of me in the checkout lane, a blonde woman roughly my age or younger, looking like a child of privilege or sorority type, was loudly talking on her cell phone while the bagger dispensed with her items.

“Yeah,” she said to the caller loud enough for me to hear her from 10-15 feet away, “I’m at Schnucks. We’re just picking up the vodka. As soon as we’re done here, I’m going to go buy drugs, then I’ll be over.”

So, obviously discretion is no longer an issue. I was reminded of high school, when kids would come up to the guy with the locker next to mine and say cryptic things like, “Chris, I’m going to need some extra crispy barbecued potato chips for this weekend,” and they would high five. That, I could get behind. I mean, put your head in the game a little.

I was still thinking about it when I woke up this morning. I’ve decided to pretend I actually heard her say, “…I’m going to go by Doug’s.”