I met a girl who’s way cooler than you.
I mean no offense. Don’t take it personally. I’m sure you’re a pretty groovy person, intelligent, happenin’. You’ve got a lot going on, but you’re still fashionably bored enough with the world to come look at this nonsense in the middle of your day. That devil-may-care, fire-me-for-noncompliance-to-posted-web-usage-policies […]

Dear Senator Edwards:
I just wanted to drop you a quick note to say how nice it almost was to run into you at Blueberry Hill the other night. Actually, a couple of friends and I went by there specifically to talk to you, and for a while I started to worry that you weren’t going […]

“Wintry mix” sounds so much more pleasant than it actually is, like something Keebler might package with smiling elves. Though I suppose getting the meteorological community to support renaming it “ice daggers” wouldn’t really serve any practical purpose. People freak out enough as it is.

Why “tug of war”? Isn’t it more of a war of tugs? The tugs aren’t really of the war.
Unless it’s like, “This is not an idle rope tug, blaggard! This is a tug of war!”
My work is very engaging.

I was e-conversing with a friend of mine this week about the Patriot Act and what, in fact, is the Big Deal. As these things often do, it got a smidgen off-topic, but I wrote something to her that I thought bore repeating to anyone within the sound of my voice. To wit:
This race, incidentally, […]

Now we’re getting somewhere. I did find a candidates-at-a-glance thingamabob. USA Today, of all places.
I also found a quiz that instructively tells you, based on your positions, who you ought to be voting for. I think it may secretly be run by the Kucinich campaign based both on my results and on the lack […]

Okay, so I started perusing the USA Today link below in an effort to get some damned information out of these suits in New Hampshire. I picked an issue at random and had a look at where the candidates stood other than in front of a giant flag. My first shot was DC Representation. Below […]

If you missed it, you arguably owe it to yourself (if not the rest of us) to at least skim last night’sState of the Union address. I watched the damned thing and still found myself saying, “What? He didn’t do this part on TV, did he? Where the hell was I when he started talking […]

It has just come to my attention that one of my long-lost cousins had a child and named that child McKynzi.
McKynzi.
That “saints’ names only” rule doesn’t sound so bad now, does it? Nobody’s laughing atWilgefortis and Guinefort now! Beats picking a name by mashing on a keyboard.
I mean… I mean… what is this being’s gender? […]

Locally, 104.1 is like the Bermuda Triangle of radio formats. New stations cheerily venture onto the airwaves never to be heard from again. Kix country! Alice: the Lilith Fair Station! Extreme: the Ozzfest Station! (There was a whiplash-inducing transition if ever there was one.) The Eighties Station! The Christmas Music Station! You never tune in […]

GW could start enforcing the death penalty by roasting and eating the hearts of his enemies, but I still just don’t think I’m ready to vote for a guy who left his religion over a goddamned bike path. (eighth paragraph of this article, towards the bottom of just about every other article I’ve read about […]