“An opera star! A mountie! The Canadian Rockies!”

Up is down! Red is green! Lemon Pepsi is delicious! There is a project involving Mick Jagger I am not actively disinterested in!

Along with Iran’s nuclear ambitions, the midwestern mumps epidemic, and rising fuel costs, one of the bigger problems facing us as a nation is undoubtedly the mispronunciation of Wisconsin’s words. Luckily, misspronouncer.com has stepped in to help out all the non-natives. St. Louis could use a site like this, but St. Louis’ would have to be devoted to explaining how local names have historically been willfully mispronounced according to some unspoken, defiant social contract. FrenchAsSpokenByGermans.com, maybe.

The president has named a new press secretary, who now has a lot of things he can never say again.