I started to reply here, but then it got too long.

On Spidey, his duds, and his him-ness:

New costumes come and go in comics. When New Coke came out and then quickly went away, conspiracy theorists following the cola wars posited that they screwed with the classic just long enough to get people talking again; that’s what you’re seeing with Spidey’s pajamas. Hell, when I was an avid reader in the eighties, he looked like this:

 

And I loved it.

The new look is indicative of the problems Todd asked about, though. See… Spider-Man is interesting when his life is like it was in the movies. He has these weird, interesting powers and fights for the little guy, but doing so basically ruins his normal life. That is the essence of the “Spider-Man” story in a nutshell. He’s racing against the clock, stopping Doctor Doom from blowing up New York or whatever, but by performing this act of great heroism he’s standing up his girlfriend and forgetting to get Aunt May’s heart medicine before the pharmacy closes. He saves the lives of everyone in town, and as a result everyone in town thinks Peter Parker is a dick. Not to mention that his grades are slipping, he has to drop out of grad school, he has no time to get any kind of decent job… he has an awesome, phenomenal gift that is ruining everything.

Plus, the newspaper and all the other superheroes think he’s a creepy weirdo. That’s just the icing on the cake.

But lately in the comics, all of his problems have been eliminated. They invited him to join the Avengers, so he’s not an outsider anymore. In fact, he lives in the Avengers HQ– a penthouse in Manhattan? Spider-Man??– with his model wife and aunt, who by the way knows his secret identity now. (One extremely annoying thing the movies and comics have in common: in both, Spider-Man has started taking his mask off anytime somebody looks at him and says hi, like some kind of super flasher.) Iron Man put him on his payroll, so he’s making money now. And Iron Man made him that crazy-ass suit, which is armored and has all these gadgets in it.

In short, Spider-Man is a sellout b****. And I’m torn, because if that character were a real person and were really given those opportunities, the choices he’s made would be exactly right and consistent… but I wouldn’t give a s*** about his stories anymore. Like, who wants to hang out with a guy whose only complaint is how the butler keeps losing his socks? That’s not an interesting man, body stocking or no body stocking.

That’s another reason I’m looking forward to this Civil War story. Everything that has happened to the character is redeemable if Iron Man says, “I’m your boss, and I say show John Ashcroft your real face,” and Spider-Man replies, “Oh my God, I’m a sellout b****! Time to face this incredibly difficult personal problem with punching and running.”

 
-- jimski, May 3, 2006, 5:09 pm

2 Responses to “my power is verbosity”

  1. will Says:

    Another vital fact is that the black costume was way cool. This Iron Man hoo ha looks like it was personally designed by John “You’re So Money” Favreau.

  2. Michael Says:

    In some ways, I like the evolution of the character, but I know a lot of people disagree. The origin from the 60s dealt with radioactivity; now with the introduction of the Ezekiel character, his powers come from some goofy insect totem ‘choosing’ him for his destiny.

    I do like the fact that MJ and Aunt May know his identity; the whole premise that people didn’t know some hero secret identities was just insulting to the average joe.

    As for the new costume (Starks’ attititude of ‘my design-my colors), I can take it or leave it. I will always be a fan of the red & blue tights (esp. McFarlane’s era design), regardless of how cool the symbiote costume looked.

    Spidey, as any other cross-generational superhero has to change with the times. I prefer the J. Michael Straczynski continuity as opposed to the Ultimate continuity, which was more of a sell-out to the movie-related demographic.

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