Have you spent a lot of time looking at the satellite images in Google Maps?
In all the times you’ve looked at them, have you ever seen anything on any street even resembling a person? Even a tiny ant-sized speck that might be a person?
Where is everybody?
Google Maps: We’ll Creep Your S*** Out

Some days, when nobody’s looking, don’t you sort of miss PINE?

As juniors in high school, we could send our foreign exchange students e-mail by typing up a document, saving it to a (floppy!) disk, and then giving the disks to our teacher who used somebody’s Compuserve account to send them all to the other school’s Compuserve account. At […]

the guy who said he killed Jonbenet Ramsey didn’t kill Jonbenet Ramsey, which makes the fact that he was brought back from Thailand by half the Department of Homeland Security even more reassuring and life affirming. If they send that many DHS agents to get a guy who didn’t even do the thing, actual terrorists […]

Conflict of Interest Dept.:
Though I’m not much of a “gamer”– we registered for a dozen video games for our wedding, got them all, and still haven’t played about ten of them– I do visit the comic goodness of Penny-Arcade.com pretty religiously because they bring The Good Stuff.
But today I’m pondering this: if a comic that mocks games has […]

One of the nice things about city living is that it is the one thing that brings out my optimism and positivity. I am a zealous believer in– and therefore an ardent defender of– the life I have chosen for myself. The traffic past my tiny front yard that would drive my parents crazy is […]

For those of you with score cards at home, the above image is Nelly Furtado performing her hit single “Promiscuous” at this week’s Teen Choice Awards.
“Responsible” is the word that leaps to mind.
Take me home, Jesus!
On an unrelated note: did anybody see Outkast on Letterman the other night? They’re pretty much gonna break up about […]

Check it out: this is a picture of the guy who copped to killing Jonbenet Ramsey being taken back to the U.S. You may notice that he is surrounded by about half a dozen law enforcement officials in this picture. What may be harder to see is what is written on their shirts: “Department of […]

Am I reading too much into this, or would the Old Media rather die than give the internet credit for anything?
Snakes on a Plane, a movie that is being regarded as essentially an internet-driven film with a devoted online fanbase, was the top movie in America this weekend. If you look at the wire stories […]

WARNING: VINCE VAUGHN IS DECAYING AT AN ALARMING RATE
 
(exhibit A: Swingers vs. today)
The CDC asks that if you encounter Mr. Vaughn, do not drink from his glass or allow him to come into contact with any open cuts.

TODAY’S RECIPIENT OF THE AWESOME TROPHY:
My wife, who excels at Excel, was just showing me how to use a VLOOKUP table (”so that’s what they’re calling it these days, nyuk nyuk”). Excel spreadsheets on Friday nights: it’s true that nobody parties like newlyweds party.
Needing data to use in my fake spreadsheet, I went and grabbed […]

Wow. I mean… wow. This has to be some kind of record.
I thought for sure that, after it had been out a while, at least one critic somewhere– Little Rock? Mobile?– would give it a thumbs up. It just doesn’t seem possible… though at the same time, I can’t honestly say I’m surprised.
What shoots this […]

While covering AOL’s recent accidental leaking of their site’s search engine logs, the Washington Post today informs me of the following: out of 36 million searches users typed into AOL from March to May, the #1 most popular search they performed was for “Google.”
Funnier still, the search engine AOL.com uses is Google. If you do […]

As a kid, from roughly age 10 to age 12, I was almost compulsively fixated on L. Frank Baum’s Oz books. Never one for the genre of storytelling that I privately refer to as Elves ‘n’ Dragons ‘n’ S***, there was something appealing to me about the way Baum combined a magical land full of […]

I have nothing to say until the site goes down, and then I spend all day thinking, “I need to make sure everybody knows about this video of the president falling down!… oh. Right.”

In my thirty plus years on the planet, I have lived in six or seven different places. In every one of those places, I or a member of my family have experienced a random act of unkindness. When I was a kid in deepest, darkest suburbia, we got our mailbox smashed so often […]

When g-man Eliot Ness and Al Capone faced off in Chicago during Prohibition, they were 26 and 29 years old.
As a young man, President Grover Cleveland was sent to fight for the Union in the Civil War. He responded to the call by paying a Polish immigrant $150 to take his place. Every article you […]