Say what you want about this election; if you have political aspirations, you can do a lot worse than being named Sheldon Whitehouse.

Yeah, I know. “Sheldon.” But the Whitehouse more than makes up for it. All night long, my wife and I have been doing the shtick.
“President Whitehouse!”

“Yes, Professor Bighead.”

“Mrs. Sippi just came back with Dr. Laboratory’s latest findings. You won’t believe it; it says here we’re living in a vaudeville routine!”

Congratulations, Senator!

I’m not checking the results again until morning.