I am absolutely opposed to the death penalty. On its very face, it is appalling and ridiculous: “Killing people is wrong, and any people who kill people will be shown how wrong it is by us killing them”? Absurd! Plus: do they carry out the death penalty by shooting you? By poisoning you? Of course not. The ways in which the government kills you to show how wrong it is to kill people are all the frickin’ bizarre ways of killing people that get killers the death penalty in the first place. Hanging people from the neck by a rope? The goddamn electric chair?? Jesus, what century is this?

Interesting. You know, they’re going to execute Saddam Hussein this afternoon.

Ooh! Are they going to broadcast it?

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December the Deadliest Month of War, So Far, But Never Mind, Hanging